A Minimalist Goes to Crossfit

It was an experience.

Friends who Crossfit, do not take this personally. This is 100% personal anecdote. If you are doing Crossfit, I urge you to take the time to work out safely! That’s not to say that I’m stereotyping or implying that Crossfit gyms lack due attention to safety.

I meant to write a post about this sooner, but since I went the evening before I left for vacation it was a little tough to squeeze it in. I deliberately texted friends to relay my experience so that what I write here adequately conveys my feelings/thoughts about Crossfit.

Crossfit. Yeah, I don’t get it. I mean, I get it, but in my humble opinion, there’s some very special Kool-Aid being drunk over there. Well, more like protein shakes. Let’s factor in for the sake of this post that I’m more of a swimming, yoga, pilates, barre, go-for-a-hike-“slow workout” type. I even get the urge to put on my roller skates every couple of years and have a dog pull me down the street:


I can’t deny the workout quality at Crossfit: I was sore the next day, it was a good workout. It was 6 sets (5 mins each) of 300 m of rowing, 100 jump rope jumps, 15 toe touches (lift both legs while holding onto the monkey bar). They made us do about 15 minutes of other things before hand as well. I slept so good.

To recount my experience, here is some text correspondence with a friend:

Me: I went to Crossfit last night. It was a little bizarre.

Friend: Are you messing with me? (Friend knows I’m not hardcore about working out / we’ve often made fun of Crossfit in the past).

Me: I’m totally serial. I went with my friend. It’s actually really close to my house. Pro: it was a good workout, con: I hate being rushed when I’m working out. Why can’t I do my thing at a leisurley pace? It was how I imagine a Krav Maga gym but with awful pop music and fewer Israelis

(I adore Israelis; I lived in Haifa for a year if you didn’t already know)

Friend: And with no focus on proper technique, form, and done as quickly as possible. Combine that with a “trainer” who has all the qualifications of a Goodlife employee, and how could anyone ever get hurt?

Me: Exactly. They didn’t factor my fitness level at all, which was appalling. I felt faint at one point and had to stop.

(Feeling faint during a workout and having to stop as a result has never happened to me; clearly, I like the leisurely pace)

Friend: Why would they? You and I should probably be doing the exact same thing at the gym, right?

(Friend works out often and could whoop me in any kind of fitness test)

Me: Haha! Anyway, I’m not going back.

Friend: Well I guess I won’t lose too much respect for you.

Me: Well that’s good! I half went so I could blog-rant about it.

Bottom line: It was too expensive, and I’m annoyed  that my fitness level (or lack, thereof, as of the last decade) wasn’t taken into consideration. I told my doctor cousin about it, she said she gets a lot of patients coming in from Crossfit with rhabdomyolysis. The plastic bottle of brown pee on the Wiki page is enough to keep me from going back.







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