Being Hairy: A Waxing Memoir

If you don’t already know, I’m biologically Iranian. Which means I’m hairy. Thankfully, not as hairy as some of the other biologically Iranian woman I’ve met in my lifetime (really, I’m on the less hairy end of the spectrum).

However, I’m still hairy enough that I need to wax. Every week. Since I was 12 and my hairy upper lip became a constant source of frustration in elementary school (because everyone else was blonde).

And before we start, here is the brand that I use, Parissa Strip Free Hot Wax.

Here are a few things you should know about waxing that I’ve learned over the years:

  1. Wax burn always sucks.Β There are two kinds of wax burn: the kind where you’ve waxed over one spot too many times (ouch!) and the kind where your wax was too hot. Avoid both types of wax burn by using hard wax, and making sure that you can “trace” your wax when you lift your stick. If you make soap, it’s the same deal. If you don’t make soap: it should look like the swirls of wax dripping from your stick don’t sink in right away and leave a shape.
  2. Don’t wax after you shower. Always do it before, otherwise you’ll likely experience the first kind of wax burn without actually going over the same spot too many times. Your skin won’t have any natural oils on it to create a barrier.
  3. Waxing when you’re greasy doesn’t work either. A little cornstarch over whatever area you’re waxing helps and creates a barrier.
  4. Sometimes you have to pluck the stubborn hairs if you’ve waxed over it more than twice already.
  5. You never have to deal with your deodorant burning your underarms if you wax your pits! Seriously, I love that I don’t have to shave my armpits.
  6. Put your stove on low when you’re heating your wax, and do not, under any circumstances, forget about it. For serious: it will catch fire (especially if you have a gas stove…true story, happened to my roommate once). It’s hard to get hard wax out of your kitchen sink. THE GOOD NEWS! You can use your blowdryer to get anything stubborn out
  7. The little blue bottles of azulene oil: keep them. They’re great for getting residual goo off of anything. You can pretty much replace your goo gone with this stuff.

And in case you weren’t freaked out already, this is what it looks like to wax at home. In time, you’ll figure out a system!

Sorry about the messy bathroom!

If you can’t be bothered to shave or wax, check out a laser clinic. Ironically, my mom owns one in Thunder Bay (she’s awesome and does an amazing job). Β To her chagrin, I’m still waxing. However, my underarm hair is significantly sparser than it was 10 years ago, and I maybe wax them once every two months.

Happy waxing adventures!

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